It’s been almost a month since my last post, and it’s really bothered me. I sat down in front of my computer a couple of times, but I found myself either spinning my thoughts or staring at the blank screen. I tried to find inspiration from a variety of sources, but I just wasn’t connecting. I even pulled out my journal and attempted to give that a go, but to no avail. Five or six half-thoughts led me nowhere. I shut my book and laptop and consigned myself to, well, nothing.
And it was really bothering me; I wanted to produce something on a regular (weekly-ish) basis. I’ve found a cathartic release since I rebooted my blog, which has greatly surprised me. I fully intended for the focus to be on my writing progress and not my emotional progress, but I reckon the two are entwined far more than I had thought.
I’ve spent some time reading and researching the best writing practices, and I’ve come to find there’s no tried and true way to successful writing. Writers, mentors, and coaches seem to agree on one thing and it’s this:
They can’t agree.
“Write every day, but don’t force it.” “Make sure you take time to sit with your thoughts, but don’t let your thoughts run wild.” “Concentrate, but don’t drive yourself mad.”
Now, in what feels like 100 years ago, I used to write almost everyday. I had the luxury of afternoons alone to work on my first book, Jac and the City of a Thousand Worlds. While it was only an hour or two each day, I had the glorious freedom to wrap myself in imagination. But, as life is what it is, that time ended for me. What I have to show for it is over 350 pages of dreams come true. I will always be thankful for that time.
So, here I am, reinventing myself. Finding what motivates me, finding my passions, my direction. What have I found out so far? I love going for drives, exploring the unknown. I love red wine and fresh seafood from the coast. A great cheesecake can overthrow tyrants. And, how I love the sunshine! I am so grateful March is over and I can once again feel warmth on my face. While I love a good thunderstorm, sunshine fills my soul. I am so thankful for its return.
So…what of my writing? That’s a good question. After some much needed contemplation, I’ve found myself in this position:
It’s all about choices.
It’s been a couple of weeks and I haven’t written and I need to think that’s ok. I could’ve sat down and tried, but I made the conscious choice to do something else. Lately, I’ve taken up the intense pleasure in listening to music. Lights off, song rising into the night, letting it take over and fill my soul. It’s magical.
Maybe that’s it. I don’t need to write everyday. Not right now, anyway. I’m finding my days and nights filled riding down other avenues, allowing other means to fill my soul. I’ve been reading different writers and topics and genres. I’ve been exploring different foods (damn, I love a good cabernet sauvignon). Maybe this is the next stage of my development. Learning about and making choices.
Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I have a date tonight with one of the greatest songs ever recorded. Time to fill my soul.
In your eyes/the light the heat/I am complete
Down The Rabbit Hole 